Including Children in Wedding Ceremony: With Children or Without?

wedding ceremony with childrenHow about a wedding ceremony with children – or maybe without children? If you are thinking of having children in your wedding entourage then you need to do some planning. Including children in wedding ceremony procedures can be a good idea – children can be adorable and fun but they are also close to disasters and this is one thing that you have to consider. Read on for some essential children at weddings tips and advice….


Children at a wedding (photo by gwyrah (Flickr))

Wedding disasters can start with involving kids in wedding ceremonies and the whole thing can end up stealing the limelight away from the happy couple! Ring bearers stumbling and crying on church aisles, tantrums by 2-year olds and flower girls missing in action…these are the most common problems when it comes to children at weddings.

Furthermore, when involving children at weddings, you may also have to consider your budget if you allow children at the reception party. They will occupy a seat and may be counted as one individual, as part of the head count for your reception, this additional cost is one concern that you have to consider as well. If you have lots of nieces and nephews, then the decision to incorporate children in your wedding can indeed be crucial.

These days, with second marriages being not unusual, a lot of couples are bringing kids to the table before they even tie the knot – for these couples, the choice to have children at the wedding is probably already decided but maybe you are wondering if your children should participate in the wedding ceremony or not.

Including Children In Your Wedding Ceremony

Whether you want to include children in the wedding ceremony procedures or not, there are certain things that you need to take into consideration when making children a part of your wedding day. Children and weddings can mix, but at times they may not be a good combination. Here are tips that can help you deal with children during or after the ceremony.

Kids at a wedding (photo by Tim Riley)

  • Consider having an adult to supervise the kids – especially during the processional. For sure, if you are involving children in the wedding ceremony procedures, you don’t want your ring bearer picking a fight with the bible bearer or the flower girls going crazy in the aisle.
  • Keep the little ones comfortable – Make sure the kids who are part of the entourage have comfortable outfits for the day. Especially for hot summer weddings, they may feel restless and irritated if they have an outfit that is not comfortable for them. Small packs of juice are also good for weddings on hot days.
  • You may choose to have a separate room designated for the kids where you can put coloring books, puzzles, video games and other things that will keep them busy, especially in times that they want to play.

Kids dancing at a wedding (photo by Dusty Smith)

  • Make sure to seat children with their parents during the reception. Often children will behave better when they are with their parents.
  • Assign easy tasks to kids who are big enough. Distribute programs or other simple tasks to keep them busy. This is how to include children in the wedding ceremony and make them less disruptive as well.
  • Tell the children what’s going on – Even for adults, weddings can be confusing, especially when you are unfamiliar with the proceedings. This can go double for kids, let them know what is happening and tell them when they can play. It may sound like a small detail but keeping in touch with the little ones during the event will help to keep things go smooth. 


Including children in marriage ceremony? Check out some romantic wedding vows for women and children.

Sam at - Wedding Planner


“A wedding ceremony including children can be a beautiful event – or a horrible disaster! When it comes to children at weddings; etiquette and planning is important.”

Got little ones? We’ve got great ideas when it comes to flower girl hairstyles for weddings.

Decided not to Include Children in Wedding Ceremony or Reception?

For whatever reason, if you have decided not to include children in your wedding entourage or at your wedding ceremony or reception, you have to keep in mind some rules of etiquette when informing your guests that the ceremony is for adults only. Of course, it may or may not be appropriate for you to indicate in the invitation that you do not allow children at your wedding ceremony or reception.

kids at a wedding

Kids at a wedding (photo by Rich Griffith)

For excluding children from weddings, here are some things you can do…

  • Address your invitation carefully. If you don’t want children, then address your invitation to the parents only. Avoid putting ‘and family’ in the invitation as this indicates that you are inviting everyone in the family – including children. Find out more on deciding who to invite to your wedding.
  • RSVPs are important for cases like this – if you are informed ahead of time that a guest is bringing children to the wedding, then politely as possible, inform your guest that you cannot accommodate children at the wedding or the reception. Your diplomatic skills should be used here as some people may not readily understand your preference for not allowing children at your wedding. Want help? We’ve got some advice when it comes to wedding RSVPs.
  • Use your family and friends to inform other guests about your preference of not having children at the wedding. Word of mouth is one sure way to let your guests know about your decision.

There are issues involved in whether or not you allow children on your wedding day, but of course, if you know how to deal with it, you can eventually pull it off quite successfully. Remember, it’s your big day and you have the ultimate decision.

Did you have children as part of your wedding? How did it go? Got any funny stories to share? Comment, tweet, let us know…

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3 Responses to Including Children in Wedding Ceremony: With Children or Without?

  1. lisainbloom says:

    How about including children on wedding invitation wording? Would it be considered rude to write “No children please” on my invites?

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